I am going to throw this scale right through the window. I ask you, how can I step on the scale and weigh 233 lbs and then step on again and weigh 240lbs? I mean, I’ve heard of looking at a hamburger and gaining 5 pounds, but I didn’t know that it was true.
Don’t get me wrong, dieting is tough and not a lot of fun. There is a plethora of food out there that I can’t have anymore, but to be penalized for just THINKING about it, is just too much. I’m getting to the point where I might just resort to going on the Beverly Hills diet…liposuction. Naw, that diet sucks.
What I want is a nice juicy steak. Throw a nice New York Strip on the Barbie and cook it to medium rare doneness. Yes, I like to have it mooing. It’s cooked just enough to kill-off most of the nasties, but still retains a lot of its flavor. Make a nice pan sauce to go over it, and I’m all set. Oh yea, I need to add French fries to that. Am I a connoisseur or what?
Now my wife likes to have her steak cooked well-done. Why not just get some beef jerky and be done with it. The only way you’ll have any flavor is to smoother it with A-1 sauce…..Yum. I say let’s just skip the middleman and pour some A-1 in a cup and have at it.
This is just torture. Sniff, sniff. I want FOOD! I have a stupid scale, excuse me, HAD a stupid scale that magically adds pounds and a dream of steak. Oh, I just thought of something: Fish and Chips. Get some malt vinegar and some salt…….I’ve got to stop. I am going to go on EBay and get a new scale. I think a nice analog job will cut the mustard. Mustard, put that on a pretzel and…Oh man this has got to stop….bye.
Cartoon courtesy of: http://humor-in-photos-and-pictures.blogspot.com/
No comments:
Post a Comment