30 October 2009

The House


sketch of my uncle's house

I ran this story last Halloween, so I felt it would be appropriate to dust it off and give it another showing. Just a note: the sketch was done by my daughter for the novel I will be starting on Sunday. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it...

I found this buried in my college notes a few weeks ago. The following is a portion from a book I was going to write. After 4 chapters I gave up and, judging from how this turned out, it was just as well. Happy Halloween!

Julie was alone in her uncle’s house. The 11:00 O’ Clock news was on and there was some story about a guy who raised a record-sized carrot. When they ran stories like that, you know that it was a slow news day. Elsa was doing her usual routine of sitting and staring at you, that cat wasn’t good for much else…what cat is? It was when the news was over that Julie realized what happens next…bedtime. She knew that she would have to go to sleep, bit the thought frightened her and she didn’t know why. It could have something to do with the fact that she would have to turn-off all the lights and try to sleep in the dark, empty (and let’s not forget), BIG house. The fact that neighbors surrounded her did nothing to alleviate her anxiety. It was a well-known fact that when the lights went out, the ghosts came to life. Everybody knows that! “Elsa, stop that tearing around! You had all day to play and there’s no need to run around the house and…” She stopped in mid-sentence when she saw what Elsa was doing. That stupid cat was sitting outside the doorway to the stairwell and staring.

The feelings that came over Julie were ones of fright and dread. Knowing that she would have to go in and check things out, (she could no longer think that she could drift peacefully to sleep) knowing that the stupid cat had seen or sensed something in the house. Julie got up out of her chair and did what any normal person would do…she opened the front door. This was done not to run outside, but to give herself a sense of security. She knew that beyond the front door lay the neighbors and safety. It never occurred to her that the front door was a full 30 yards from the staircase door. However, the feeling is what counts in this instance. Slowly, Julie turned from the front door and started for the rear of the house. “Elsa, what are you doing?” The sound of her own voice comforted her, although it did nothing to alleviate the tension from Elsa. As Julie neared the staircase, turning on every light within her reach, she saw that Elsa’s fur was standing on end and the growling grew louder. When Julie got to within a few feet of the doorway, Elsa started to back away and spit at the door. It suddenly felt very cold in the hallway and Julie sensed something else; it was a feeling very hard to describe, but she felt the presence of evil. It seemed to be coming from the stairwell in waves. It took every ounce of strength in her 18 year old body could muster to go those last few feet. As she turned to look in the doorway, she comforted herself by talking to Elsa, “its okay Elsa, there’s nothing in there.”


As she looked up the curving stairway, she heard the sound of a creaking floorboard from above her. Elsa had flown into the laundry room at the other side of the house, so it wasn’t her. Something was upstairs. Something that shouldn’t be there, was there. There it goes again; definitely, something was walking around upstairs. Looking over her shoulder, Julie noticed that the front door was wide open and there was a clear shot to the outside. Feeling brave, Julie looked back up the stairs and yelled, “Hey, you don’t scare me you stupid, ugly ghost!” All of a sudden, an inhuman howl roared through the house. It didn’t come from just the upstairs, but from all around her. Turning back Julie yelled once more, “come and get me you jerk!” As Julie started to run for the front door, she heard the unmistakable sound of an immensely heavy footstep at the top of the stairs. Running for the door, Julie noticed that she was not really running at all. It felt as if something was pushing against her and slowing her down. The footsteps grew louder, but they also now came from the direction of the basement. Julie tried to run faster, but it was like running through Jell-O. The howls and the footsteps grew nearer from all sides, yet the front door seemed to be just out of reach. The overpowering sense of evil seemed to be suffocating her and making it hard to breathe. The howling grew deafening; the footsteps closer; the fear overpowering.

Almost there, the front door is within reach. As Julie reached for the door, something touched her shoulder and as she turned around, Julie saw a sight that made her…

7 comments:

  1. Wow...that house looks familiar! What an awesome sketch. You have a very talented daughter (& I have a talented niece)!

    Ok...you just going to leave us all hanging? What happened? Where's Julie? I can't wait to hear what happens next! :-)

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  2. Wow Tim, I'm not sure which to comment on first the house or the story. Both are incredible, it seems there is an inherited talent in your family. I was really getting into the story especially since my MAC PRO has the ability to read it to me. Don't give up on your writing Tim, you have a God given talent don't let it go to waste. Even if you only finish the book just for your own sake it's obviously something you love to do and your good at it. :^)

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  3. Julie saw a sight that made her...? WHAT? I was really getting into reading your story. I need more....lol Thoroughly enjoyed the post.
    Your daughters sketch is awesome.

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  4. that made her what? That wasn't nice Tim! Talk about a cliff hanger! It's probably a whole bunch of "stupid" cats coming to show Julie who the stupid one is for yelling at ghosts!

    By the way, your daughter's sketch is wonderful! She's very talented!

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  5. CredLady: Yes she is a very good artist. She, luckily, gets her talent from her mom:)
    Sorry, but that's how I ended this story, I have a habit of ending stories like this.

    Randy: Thank you very much for your comments. It was very kind of you. Your computer can read? Wow, I need to get one of those:)

    Ann: Thank you, I'll be sure to let her know. Julie saw that the ghost had eaten her last Reese's Peanut Butter Cup:) (got you back).

    BeadedTail: I know, I called Elsa stupid WAY too much. As for the yelling at the ghosts, believe it or not, I happen to do that in my ghost-dreams.
    Thank you, I will tell her:)

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  6. jump?" hmmm.

    Great, I'm alone in the home with a fraidicat dog! No stairs, though. Or basement! Happy halloween! {:-Deb

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  7. storybeader: As long as your dog doesn't start acting "weird", you should be okay :)

    Happy Halloween!

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