Fridays & Fotos

Seen many times before, but worth another look...

courtesy of... failblog


Do You Think She Noticed...

courtesy of... funnycatsite.com


Can You Say Duh...

courtesy of... www.pyzam.com


This is my new $350.00 clothes hanger...

courtesy of...mightywombat.com

Fun Fotos for Friday

Is it Just Me, or Does it Get Windy in Wyoming...




Uh, I think we need some more repellent...

Courtesy of...www.darkroastedblend.com



Seagulls, the Outlaws of the Bird World...

Courtesy of... flickzzz.com



Does this Look Familiar...

Courtesy of... www.acc.umu.se
See Also...More Photos

Fun Photos and Cartoons for Friday

How I would've Liked to See Them...



When your Blood Catnip Level is Above the Legal Limit...




Peeping Tom Cat...

photo courtesy of:imagechan.com
(site has mature advertising)

See also...More photos

Fun Photos

When good penguins go bad...




Here I come to save the day...


This is just plain tacky...


uh, honey, I think I need to call you back...


See also...More Photos...

Photos for Phriday

This is so true...


I'll be back...(the purrminator)


This is my kind of science...


I'll need to see your license and proof of insurance...



See also...More Photos

Funny Photos for Friday

NASA teams with NASCAR...



Visions of Monty Python and the Holy Grail...



They take speeding seriously here in Washington...



How TV meteorologists predict the weather...




See also...More Photos

Random Thoughts

From time to time, I like to dust-off an old entry and introduce it once more. This happens to be one of those times (which means I can't think of anything to write about today). The original title was: Squirrels, Cats, and Lawnmowers and was published on April 8. Hope you enjoy...

When I first started writing a blog, I figured it would be a piece of cake. Just write a few lines and that would be it. Well, that is the farthest thing from the truth. Blogs require a great deal of thought and dedication. I want mine to be the best, so I strive to write articles with good content. I want to write articles about everyday life and how it affects us. However, there are those days, like today, when ideas just seem to flee. So, I revert to my old stand-by: BS. Well, I do have a college degree: its a BA (BAAA...sheepskin, get it?) not a BS, but I figure it's close enough.

• Sometime ago, we installed a squirrel feeder in our backyard. I was somewhat reluctant do do this because I didn't think it would ever be used. Less than a week after I put it up, there were squirrels there. My question: how did they know it was there? Is there some type of squirrel Brian Williams that announces new feeder locations? Do they have a type of "eye in the sky" Feeder Report? This, to me, is a mystery.



• Ever go into the kitchen and take-out the can opener only to discover that your cat, who was sleeping on the other side of the house, appears by your legs? What? Do they have the hearing of bats? Do they have a sort of cat sonar that picks-up "can-opener waves?"



• You are alone in the house and it's late at night. Your cute little bundle of fur wakes from a sound sleep, goes to the doorway of a dark room and hisses. Do they actually see something? Do they sense something we can't? Or, is it some kind of private "cat joke," an initiation they must perform in order to become a full member of the cat gang.



• You know, I love the sound of the lawn mower, especially when someone else is mowing our lawn.



• I am going to share my tax return with two of my friends: MasterCard and Visa, aren't I nice?


• You have bags of leftover Halloween candy in the house. It's December and you never ate it, so you take it to work and give it to your friends. That night, you end up going to the store to buy candy.



• You wash your car and the next day....it doesn't rain. YES!! You feel like you are on the top of the world. You go to the store to buy a big steak to celebrate. When you come back to your car, you notice a huge pterodactyl has pooped right on the hood.

Well, I've been putting it off long enough, the lawn needs to be mowed. I guess I should go out there and watch my wife mow it. After all, I try to be a good husband.

Funny Friday

Happy Friday everyone. I just got through working out and I don't have the energy to write a new article. Actually, I have writer's block and can't think of anything to say. I really hate it when this happens. I sit in front of the computer and stare at a blank screen trying to think of something intelligent to write (I know, you're thinking, "when has this stopped me before"), but this time I'm at a total loss. Can I just skip a day and do nothing at all, or should I make an effort and post something? With this in mind, I have gathered a few pictures that I found while Stumbling the web. I hope you like them.

Moose on the loose.

Our tax dollars at work.

Did you just hear something?

The dog from Chernobyl.

Just axing for a ride.


See also...More photos

A Great Fruit Cake Recipe

You'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whisky.

Sample the whisky to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whisky again and go to bed.

Courtesy of: AhaJokes

Signs of the Times

It’s difficult to read this note, so I have typed it out for you.


Dear Person,
I’m sorry I put a dent in your car. I didn’t want to but, I did when I tried to park next to you. I am not leaving my information because you chose to use two spaces and I just wanted to park in one. The scratches are because I used a towel that had sand on it to try to clean the dent/paint off. Beaches are fun.
Please look your car over for the dent and scratches and each time you see them remember not to park in two spaces.

-Sorry!!!

These images courtesy of: Canzet.com

The Top Twenty Flight Advertising Slogans

1. BadAir: When you just can't wait for the world to come to you.

2. BadAir: We're Amtrak with wings.

3. Join our frequent near-miss program.

4. On flights, every section is a smoking section.

5. Ask about our out-of-court settlements.

6. Our staff has had lots of experience counseling next-of-kin.

7. Are our jet engines too noisy? Don't worry. We'll turn them off.

8. Complimentary champagne during free-fall.

9. Enjoy the in-flight movie in the plane next to you.

10. The kids will love our inflatable slides.

11. If you think it's so easy, get your own plane!

12. Which will fall faster, our stock price or our planes?

13. Our pilots are all terminally ill and have nothing to lose.

14. BadAir: We may be landing on your street.

15. BadAir: Terrorists are afraid to fly with us.

16. Bring a bathing suit.

17. Some airlines are content to fly thousands of feet over landmarks. We try to get as close as possible for the best view.

18. That guy who crashed into the White House was one of our best pilots.

19. Fly BadAir and enjoy a free two-week hospital stay on us.

20. BadAir: A real man lands where he wants to.

courtesy of: AhaJokes

Humorous Pictures

Here are some more wacky pictures. Hope you enjoy them.


Oh, Deer!


Ultimate watch dog

Tea for two

Types of Computer Viruses

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.

Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.

Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.

Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

Dan Quayle virus: Prevents your system from spawning any child processes without joining into a binary network.

Dan Quayle virus: Simplye addse ane ee toe everye worde youe typee..

David Duke virus: Makes your screen go completely white.

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.

Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).

George Bush virus: Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until November.

Government economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Jerry Brown virus: Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.

Madonna virus: If your computer gets this virus, lock up your dog!

Mario Cuomo virus: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.

New World Order virus: probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

Nike virus: Just Does It!

Ollie North virus: Turns your printer into a document shredder.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

Pat Buchanan virus: Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.

Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:.

Paul Tsongas virus: Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not Santa Claus."

PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.

Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".

Richard Nixon virus: Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus", you can wipe it out but it always makes a comeback.

Right To Life virus: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.

Ross Perot virus: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.

Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened.

Ted Turner virus: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

Terry Randle virus: Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.

Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

UK Parliament virus: Splits the screen into two with a message in each half blaming other side for the state of the system.

Warren Commission virus: Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.

courtesy of: AhaJokes

An Honest Lawyer

An honest lawyerAn independent woman started her own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, and so she began interviewing young lawyers."As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an 'honest' lawyer?""Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my dad lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case.""Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"He squirmed in his seat and admitted, "My dad sued me for the money."

courtesy of: http://www.ahajokes.com/

Identifying Wasted Time

TO: ALL PERSONNEL
FROM: ACCOUNTING

It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time.

Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities.

The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.

Thank you,
Accounting

Attached: Extended Job-Code List
Code and Explanation
5316 Useless Meeting

5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting

5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting

5319 Waiting for Break

5320 Waiting for Lunch

5321 Waiting for End of Day

5322 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker

5323 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While Coworker is Not Present

5393 Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend

5400 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not Interested in Learning

5401 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid

5402 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You

5481 Buying Snack

5482 Eating Snack

5500 Filling Out Timesheet

5501 Inventing Timesheet Entries

5502 Waiting for Something to Happen

5503 Scratching Yourself

5504 Sleeping

5510 Feeling Bored

5511 Feeling Horny

5600 Complaining About Lousy Job

5601 Complaining About Low Pay

5602 Complaining About Long Hours

5603 Complaining About Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)

5604 Complaining About Boss

5605 Complaining About Personal Problems

5640 Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining

5701 Not Actually Present At Job

5702 Suffering From Eight-Hour Flu

6102 Ordering Out

6103 Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive

6104 Taking It Easy While Digesting Food

6200 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit

6201 Stealing Company Goods

6202 Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company Goods

6203 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls

6204 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls to Sell Stolen Company Goods

6205 Hiding from Boss

6206 Gossip

6207 Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)

6210 Feeling Sorry For Yourself

6211 Updating Resume

6212 Faxing Resume to Another Employer/Headhunter

6213 Out of Office on Interview

6221 Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching

6222 Pretending to Enjoy Your Job

6223 Pretending You Like Coworker

6224 Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They are Jerks

6238 Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing

6350 Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl

6601 Running your own Business on Company Time (See Code #6603)

6602 Complaining

6603 Writing a Book on Company Time

6611 Staring Into Space

6612 Staring At Computer Screen

6615 Transcendental Meditation

7281 Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)

7400 Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone

7401 Talking With Plumber on Phone

7402 Talking With Dentist on Phone

7403 Talking With Doctor on Phone

7404 Talking With Masseuse on Phone

7405 Talking With House Painter on Phone

7406 Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone

7419 Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone

7425 Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone

7931 Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity

8000 Recreational Drug Use

8001 Non-recreational Drug Use

8002 Liquid Lunch

8100 Reading e-mail

courtesy of: AhaJokes.com

Pilot Joke

Here’s one you’ve probably heard before, but it is funny. Enjoy!

From now on, it’ll never be said that airport ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. We dug up a few actual (or at least claimed to be) logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics.

Problem: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
Solution: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution: Live bugs on backorder.

Problem: Something loose in cockpit.
Solution: Something tightened in cockpit.

Problem: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Solution: Evidence removed.

Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Solution: That’s what they’re there for!

Problem: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Solution: DME volume set to more believable level.

Problem: Aircraft handles funny.
Solution: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

Problem: Radar hums.
Solution: Reprogrammed radar with words.

Problem: IFF inoperative.
Solution: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

Problem: Suspected crack in windscreen.
Solution: Suspect you’re right.

Problem: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Problem: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
Solution: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Problem: Number 3 engine missing.
Solution: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

By the way, according to the report, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. Really inspires alot of confidence doesn’t it?