Pokemon Anonymous

What is it with Pokemon? All I ever hear about is this cartoon. When I was growing up, the cartoons we watched on television were Bugs Bunny and Scooby Do. Everyone loved these cartoons, but it wasn't an International phenomenon. Parenting can be difficult enough these days, without having to do homework on the latest cartoon craze.
When this first started, I figured it would go the way of the Power Rangers and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. But it hasn't gone away. It just keeps getting stronger. All my children ever talk about is Pokemon and what one can do to another. I can't get them to memorize a history text, but they can quote me chapter and verse on the latest gaming strategy. Does anyone else have this problem? Should we parents get together and take a Pokemon 101 course?

Well, I have to go now. My daughter just asked me a question and I need to get my
Pokemon-English Translator to figure out what she said.

Singing Those Nap Time Blues

You wait all day for that magical time of day- Nap Time, and when you finally out your bundle of joy in the crib and sneak out of the room for your glorious "Parent Retreat," you hear WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Parenting can be fun, can't it?? Well, I have to tell you that this has happened to me as well and I discovered a way to make nap time quiet time again.

When our first child became old enough to stand in the crib, I soon became acquainted with the Nap Time Blues. After making sure she was fed, burped, and changed, I would place her in the crib and say "nappy time, sleep well." I would then creep out of the room and go into our bedroom. As soon as a stepped out of her sight, the crying would begin. I would sigh and go out to see what was wrong, and miraculously, the crying would stop and a smile would appear on her face.

Well, remember this was my first child and I was learning here, so I would make sure everything was "high and dry" put her back in the crib and leave the room. Sure enough, the crying started all over again. Question: what to do?? She is fed, she is burped, she is clean (fresh diaper). I decided to try an experiment: The next day I set-up a small mirror in our hallway so I could see her from the bedroom, but she wouldn't be able to see me. I made sure that the baby monitor was working and then I was set to go.

The next day after lunch and playtime, it was soon time for her nap. I again, made sure that she was burped and changed and then I placed her in the crib, went through the usual routine and left the room. Sure enough, the crying started as soon as I was out of sight. However, this time I did something different: I didn't go out. I stayed in the room and watched what she was doing. Do you know what?? She was standing at the head of the crib and staring at our bedroom door and crying. Then she would stop and wait. When I didn't come out, she would cry again for a few minutes....all the time staring at our door.

I have to tell you that this is one of the hardest things I had to do. I waited for 15 minutes before I went out and checked on her. I knew everything was fine; she just wanted me out there with her. After 15 minutes, I went out and checked to make sure everything was fine, and then went back to my room......the process repeated, but this time after about 10 minutes, she stopped crying and started playing in her crib. About 10 minutes later, she was sleeping.

This cycle went on for about a week, and then she would just fuss a little, then play, and then fall asleep. As far as I can imagine, and I am no physchologist, this was just a sort of control issue. She was trying to establish control over me. If she knew that EVERYTIME she cried, I would come running, think of the power she held!

Now, I am not saying you should ignore your child when she cries. I am saying that when you have conditions such as the ones I have just described, you should not let the child control you. Remember, YOU are the parent. YOU are the one in control, NOT the other way around. You need to teach your child that you will respond when they need help, but you will not be at their beck-and-call. It's like the Cry Wolf syndrome. Teaching and instructing children starts from day one. They are not stupid. As you can see, from 3 months, my daughter was trying to see how much power she had. She was TESTING me. At 3 months!

Now, if you are having nap time problems such as I have described, then try what I did. It only took me a week to settle the issue. For others, it may take a little longer. Yes, I know it is a very difficult thing to have to stand there and listen to your child cry like that, But if you KNOW that there is nothing wrong, you should try and stick it out for NO MORE THAN 15 minutes, before checking. Then repeat the procedure.

Hopefully you too can turn Nap Time into Quiet Time. Both you and your child will get the rest they need.

Next time: some recipes

Bedtime for Baby

OK, let's get down to business.

A friend of ours had their first child several years before we did. They believed in the "Family Bed" system. This is the system that has you sleep in the same bed as your children. Although this sounds good in theory, it is a recipe for disaster. When their child reached 6 years old, they moved her to her own room. I guess I should say they TRIED to move her to her own room; What followed was YEARS of tantrums.

When my wife had our first child, we lived in a 1 bedroom apartment. We had decided that we did not want our baby to sleep in the same room with us, so we set-up the crib and changing area in the dining room. We did not want to share our room, because we didn't want our child to develop a need to be with someone in order to fall asleep. If your child develops this dependency, then later down the road when you try to move them into a room of their own, you are going to have major problems. I can guarantee you will have a nightly visitor and nightly temper tantrums until you cave in, or they fall asleep from exhaustion. Unless you like to endure hours of screaming, as our friend did, then you need to give your infant their own space.

I know that this is hard, especially if this is your first child. You want to be with them all the time, but you need to give them their space AND you need to have your own space as well. You and your wife need to have time to yourselves, even if there is only a door or a wall separating you from your baby.

There will be times when your child will need to sleep with you, and that's OK. I'm not saying you should never let them sleep with you, I am saying that you should not make it a permanent thing. I remember that for the first month, I stayed-up at night and watched TV in the living room, so I could keep an eye on my daughter. This also allowed my wife to be able to get a few precious hours of sleep before having to feed her again. I didn't have to do this, since we had a baby moniter, but it gave me a sense that I was actually helping my wife.

Once we were both comfortable and our daughter fell into a type of routine, we both slept in our bedroom and our daughter slept in her crib in the dining room.

Next time: Singing those Nap Time Blues.

Ideas Wanted

This is what I look like after only 7 months of lifting weights. Although I think I may need to do something about my nose. Oh, and the ears; definitely need to do the old ear-bob.

I just wanted to add a place where you can bring-up any questions or topics you would like to discuss. Just go to the comments section and type your query. We can discuss most anything with regards to parenting, personal growth, fitness ( I started working-out 7 months ago, so this is a fun topic to discuss), etc.

Let's start having FUN here!!

anybody out there

You know, there are many times where I feel that I am the only man who has elected to stay home and raise their kids. I still have not gotten used to the side-ways glances when I tell some one that I am a stay-at home dad. I realize that there must be others out there that have chosen this lifestyle, but I have yet to find anyone.

What I would like to do is share my thoughts and experiences to others who are in my situation. Are you new to parenting? Let's talk. Feeling alone and depressed? I've been there and can suggest somethings that you can to to break-out of your depression. I know that you feel isolated. Maybe "talking" can help.

How about cooking a great, yet easy dinner to break the monotony? I have some great ideas for you.