Showing posts with label mr moms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mr moms. Show all posts
03 April 2008
01 April 2008
Bedtime for Baby
OK, let's get down to business.
A friend of ours had their first child several years before we did. They believed in the "Family Bed" system. This is the system that has you sleep in the same bed as your children. Although this sounds good in theory, it is a recipe for disaster. When their child reached 6 years old, they moved her to her own room. I guess I should say they TRIED to move her to her own room; What followed was YEARS of tantrums.
When my wife had our first child, we lived in a 1 bedroom apartment. We had decided that we did not want our baby to sleep in the same room with us, so we set-up the crib and changing area in the dining room. We did not want to share our room, because we didn't want our child to develop a need to be with someone in order to fall asleep. If your child develops this dependency, then later down the road when you try to move them into a room of their own, you are going to have major problems. I can guarantee you will have a nightly visitor and nightly temper tantrums until you cave in, or they fall asleep from exhaustion. Unless you like to endure hours of screaming, as our friend did, then you need to give your infant their own space.
I know that this is hard, especially if this is your first child. You want to be with them all the time, but you need to give them their space AND you need to have your own space as well. You and your wife need to have time to yourselves, even if there is only a door or a wall separating you from your baby.
There will be times when your child will need to sleep with you, and that's OK. I'm not saying you should never let them sleep with you, I am saying that you should not make it a permanent thing. I remember that for the first month, I stayed-up at night and watched TV in the living room, so I could keep an eye on my daughter. This also allowed my wife to be able to get a few precious hours of sleep before having to feed her again. I didn't have to do this, since we had a baby moniter, but it gave me a sense that I was actually helping my wife.
Once we were both comfortable and our daughter fell into a type of routine, we both slept in our bedroom and our daughter slept in her crib in the dining room.
Next time: Singing those Nap Time Blues.
A friend of ours had their first child several years before we did. They believed in the "Family Bed" system. This is the system that has you sleep in the same bed as your children. Although this sounds good in theory, it is a recipe for disaster. When their child reached 6 years old, they moved her to her own room. I guess I should say they TRIED to move her to her own room; What followed was YEARS of tantrums.
When my wife had our first child, we lived in a 1 bedroom apartment. We had decided that we did not want our baby to sleep in the same room with us, so we set-up the crib and changing area in the dining room. We did not want to share our room, because we didn't want our child to develop a need to be with someone in order to fall asleep. If your child develops this dependency, then later down the road when you try to move them into a room of their own, you are going to have major problems. I can guarantee you will have a nightly visitor and nightly temper tantrums until you cave in, or they fall asleep from exhaustion. Unless you like to endure hours of screaming, as our friend did, then you need to give your infant their own space.
I know that this is hard, especially if this is your first child. You want to be with them all the time, but you need to give them their space AND you need to have your own space as well. You and your wife need to have time to yourselves, even if there is only a door or a wall separating you from your baby.
There will be times when your child will need to sleep with you, and that's OK. I'm not saying you should never let them sleep with you, I am saying that you should not make it a permanent thing. I remember that for the first month, I stayed-up at night and watched TV in the living room, so I could keep an eye on my daughter. This also allowed my wife to be able to get a few precious hours of sleep before having to feed her again. I didn't have to do this, since we had a baby moniter, but it gave me a sense that I was actually helping my wife.
Once we were both comfortable and our daughter fell into a type of routine, we both slept in our bedroom and our daughter slept in her crib in the dining room.
Next time: Singing those Nap Time Blues.
16 March 2008
The Decision
You may be wondering how I got into this position as a stay-at-home dad. Well, let me take you back in time some 12 years and I'll tell you.
Even before we began to start a family, my wife and I decided that one of us should stay home and raise our children. We didn't want to have our kids raised by a daycare worker. We wanted to be able to see them take their first steps; hear them say their first words, etc.
When it was discovered that my wife was pregnant, we had a decision to make. We both had good jobs that paid well, so who should stay at home? Well, the decision came down not to salary, but to insurance coverage. My wife's insurance covered 100% of the doctor and hospital bills, while my insurance (even though I had been employed with the University for over 4 years ) considered it a pre-exisiting condition and would not cover the costs (insurance companies...go figure).
So, the decision was made and preparations were made for the birth of our first child and a drastic change in my lifestyle. My career, my life, and the way I saw myself would be forever changed.
Even before we began to start a family, my wife and I decided that one of us should stay home and raise our children. We didn't want to have our kids raised by a daycare worker. We wanted to be able to see them take their first steps; hear them say their first words, etc.
When it was discovered that my wife was pregnant, we had a decision to make. We both had good jobs that paid well, so who should stay at home? Well, the decision came down not to salary, but to insurance coverage. My wife's insurance covered 100% of the doctor and hospital bills, while my insurance (even though I had been employed with the University for over 4 years ) considered it a pre-exisiting condition and would not cover the costs (insurance companies...go figure).
So, the decision was made and preparations were made for the birth of our first child and a drastic change in my lifestyle. My career, my life, and the way I saw myself would be forever changed.
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